To be or not to be, a bastard!

Being creative is being creative. And it is hard. Being creative is very demanding.

It can be easy to avoid, or it is easy to avoid. Just start flicking through your Twitter account or turn on the TV, then you know your creative time has vanished. And you will never grow and never succeed in anything.

Being creative is challenging, but challenges is where we grow.

No one ever grew by having everything come too easy and if thing come to easy, we sure do not value it as much.

Was this the start I hoped for for this post/ essay/ feature?

I do not really know. When I was thinking about what to write about, I thought it to be about the difference between the challenge to make a drawing every day and to write something every day.

For the last long time, I have been trying to keep a ritual going and writ and draw and practise playing the bass guitar again.

It is hard and demanding. And very diverse. Every of these tasks are pulling different strings in my mind. Different skills my be no also touching very personal limits and borders.

The writing and drawing are provoking my own honesty, but in different ways. Both are art forms where you can push out and show your most inner thoughts and most personal passions and desires and imagination and not always is it completely acceptable or appropriate thoughts coming out or up to the surface.

Of the two different forms of expression, I feel most comfortable in drawing and letting my inner life come out through my drawings. It is as a drawing cannot be as sensitive or maybe complete extreme as something written.

Or maybe it can, but for me it doesn't feel that way, yet.

Is this because I am very good at controlling what I draw, in the sense as to not exhibit myself and get into a situation where I could be criticised and judged or is it maybe because I am too weak to dare to strip my self naked by bashing and my inner thoughts out for the world to see.

Even in many of the writing advise I've seen, the advise is to be rough and. Honest and to provoke the audience and reader.

For someone trying to overcome lame writing and to become someone worth reading, I need to improve and to be more direct and uncomfortable in my writing. Or maybe it is to become more unpredictable.

Maybe also when I am drawing? However drawing for me, is not as intense an express form as I feel writing to be.

Drawing or painting is more about aesthetics and form than it is about bursting out ones heart and badass behaviour for a provocation and a reaction.

I have a couple of plots and ideas for novels or short stories. But it is not anything too sinister in my mind yet. When I read about tips and methods of writing, it is often said you have to "kill your darling".

In the sense if something doesn't fit and ruins the narrative or is to blunt or week, you have to let it go. Even if it is your first idea and your entry into the universe you have created. I it doesn't fit, just leave it to rot.

But, can I be a bastard?

I am not sure.

Many years ago I was working on a comic. It was a bit of a hobby for me back then and I was mainly using it for a kind of second life valve. Not the digital avatar platform where you actually is an avatar in some cypher room. What I did back then was some release from a very isolated and stagnant student life, with no money and not many adventures, so I created a world to escape into where loads of things happened to my alter ego.

In the comic, I let some terrorists blow a bomb at a gas station somewhere in northern Finland, and the lady of the house got -if not killed - then very injured and I remember my girlfriend at the time asking me, how I could kill or injure a character I'd invented and brought to life myself. The comic was never full ended. It got stolen from a car I was travelling around southern Spain in in the late nineties, after I finally got out of my comfort zone I Århus, Denmark and some kind of life actually started to happen to me.

The comfort zone is a roadblock. Get out of that zone. It's good to be in the "Zone" but not that one.