How to make every thing quick and easy.

This is an amateur guide to an amateur guide.

Recommended music while reading this:

Deep Purple. Live in Japan. 

My inspiration to this post must come from the tons of YouTube video guides I've seen the recent years and which I always gets so sick and tired looking at, even before the "fabulous youtuber" has come to the point and begun to guide.

Today I'll talk about how to make an amateur guide. First of all you need to be an amateur so the guide you are going to make cannot be about anything you are good at or anything you are paid to do. If you are good at it or paid to do it, you are a professional and then it cannot be an amateur guide.

However, as you see the beginning has to be long drawn and have nothing to do with the intended guide. It should just be some utter flab doodle, which whole intent is to fill line in and sentence out with words and hereby waste as much time as possible before getting to the point. That way, it might occur to the reader that I am more important and extremely knowledgable and the subject is of a very difficult matter.

Something like this.

"And you have to remember to remind yourself when you write in your Evernote todo list, that you must drink water,  a lot of water. Did you know that our body consists of 90 something % of water? Because of that it is important for you to keep drinking all day, other wise you could suffer from dehydration."

Getting a good start here, however, the amateur guide has to be amateurish, so do not start with anything that is interesting. That will just get the attention of your reader and they could expect real content coming up next. 

So to avoid that, tell about your last holiday.

And show pictures of food and smiling children I front of mountains and landmarks.

If your guide is a video, now would be the point where you could start to include a screen recording to illustrate how to begin making a guide.

Don't ever stop that screen recording. Even if you don't know where to press or what to show. And even if you do not know what to say.

In an amateurish guide to an amateur guide, it is important to see and hear how you are fumbling around to find the next tool or some other colour setting for the screen, while you mumble something like: "Basically, all you need to do is to click here and drag this one out there and then squeeze a bit here, then we should see..." 

And here you must stop talking -but still leave the recording run- for the audience to see your arrow or mouse or what ever is navigating the screen on its way to every single of all drag down menus or apps, while opening applications and random Windows without the slightest connection to the subject.

Remember to maintain calmness and try to add some vocabulary that is not completely head on, but yet not the opposite. Confuse the audience with your words. Let them think that this is just too complicated and that the terminology used goes way over their heads.

That way you can be sure to have their attention. Because no one want to admit that anything goes way over their head and did not get any of what's just been said. That makes people feel dumb, no one wants to feel like that. But because no one wants to admit that things got just too complicated and hereby admit being stupid, people tend to ignore they didn't fathom any of it. Instead they just nod and keep quiet, that way they think they show they are with you all the way.

Make sure your guide do not have a real purpose. 

Well initially not,a little something that could make sense is OK. Oh yeah and by the way. The title has to be attractive, like something we all want. 

That's it.

Smoke on the water.